Creating a Safe Place

Hi, Everyone,

We have been doing a study based on a Stephen Ministries book titled Don’t Sing Songs to a Heavy Heart: How to Relate to Those Who are Suffering by Kenneth C. Haugk. Dr. Haugk is a pastor and clinical psychologist and is the founder and Executive Director of Stephen Ministries. He wrote the book in response to his own experience in the loss of his wife to ovarian cancer. Everyone has been in the position of trying to support someone going through a difficult time. Maybe you have been the one enduring difficulty. Sometimes well-meaning friends or family, in their effort to take away your pain, will say something incredibly hurtful, not because they wanted to hurt you, but because they didn’t know what else to say.

Last week we took a very close look at what the author of the book calls “pink thinking.” He says that the difference between words that hurt and not heal and pink thinking is like the difference between being harpooned and being nibbled to death by ducks. Pink thinking is optimism run amok, glossing over the person’s pain. This week, April 3, we will discover how to create a safe place, a place where someone who is hurting can come and know it will not make them feel worse.

That topic is pretty relevant to our present situation, and I think we will have a good discussion, via video conference.

Just a word to those of you with young kids. On Friday we will be at the end of the third week of kids home from school, and according to the Governor’s office, not even halfway through the schools shutdown. This is not like having the kids off from school for summer vacation.

I know you are moms and moms sacrifice a lot for their families. I know it’s hard to feel like you can have any privacy in your houses right now with everybody staying home all the time. But let me just say that a mom is like a fuel cell for her family. Not like a battery that needs to be recharged, a fuel cell will keep producing energy as long as it gets fuel from somewhere. So just remember that you need to get fuel too. It is not selfish to declare that you need some personal time. Actually, it sets a good example for your kids and shows them what healthy boundaries look like.

Maybe Friday morning at 9:30 isn’t the best time for you, but please be sure you do take time for yourself.

April 3/Creating a Safe Place
April 10 No Meeting
April 17 No Meeting
April 24 Simple and Profound
May 1 I AM Statements
May 8 Don’t Worry
May 15 Knowing God’s Will
May 22 No Meeting

If you want to participate in the Zoom video conference on Friday at 9:30, email me at dwalling@shenumc.org and I will send you the link and meeting invitation.

Grace and peace,
Denise

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